Archive for November, 2006

BIG BIRD AND KATIE COURIC USE THE WIMBLEDON CHAMPIONSHIPS TO PLAY-TEST THE ADVANCED JACK-BOT BALL COLLECTOR PLATFORM IN THEIR PURSUIT OF THE ULTIMATE SNOW-BALL WAR MACHINE AND ZOG ZOG ZOG

Whenever I do something moronic, or half-assed, or just plain make a social faux pas, I sing myself a little song of my own invention.

It comes off as a little depressing, but the fact is that it’s usually enough of a change from whatever I’m dealing with that the distraction helps me relax a little. Well, that and I composed it piece-by-piece during some especially high-tension smoke breaks at work, and trying to keep it in the rhythm was also a good for helping me relax.

Warning: A great deal of gratuitous vulgarity ahead.

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To my fellow Americans:

If you think you know what’s really going on in Iraq, chances are you don’t. Our news is heavily edited, sanitized, approved by the government.

Don’t believe me?

Iraq: The Hidden Story

That’s a (very graphic) Channel 4 documentary about what we’re not seeing.

If you think you know what’s going on in Iraq, click that link, and find out.

Have you ever been interrupted at an inappropriate moment (say, while you’re trying to sleep until the decent hour of 2 PM on a lazy Saturday) by people who wanted to share their particular religious choice with you?

I have. I would’ve had my virgin sacrifice, if those Jehova’s Witnesses had held still long enough.

. . .

Anyway, if you share my annoyance with door-to-door religious salesman, please to watch this very funny clip of door-to-door atheists in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Before I loaded up the car and left for the laundromat this evening, my darling wife gave me a sample of a batch of crockpot chili that she had just finished. Mmm, tasty.

Thoughtfully, she made sure it was hot to eat when I got back. She left the crockpot on low, which was how I found it when I got home.

Three and a half hours later.

. . .

Baby, I adore you, and thank you for the chili. I really did appreciate it.

The next time I’m going to be late for a crockpot dinner, please turn the crockpot off. I would much rather microwave a bowl of cold chili than have the chili cooking for 3 hours past being done before I get to it.

I’m not the best husband in the world.

That’s not me spanking on myself, it’s just the truth. During the course of my marriage my lovely wife, I haven’t done a very good job of balancing job-related stress, job-related demands on my time, my wife’s needs, and the relatively minor stress that comes as part and parcel to being married.

–>Sometimes, when world gets you all wound up

http://eatliver.com/i.php?n=1539

. . .

That is all.

This actually makes sense when you consider all the puns, innuendo, and hidden meanings that populate my sense of humor.

Here's another typical exchange between myself and the wife.

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This morning, at its outset, looked like it was going to be a routine Friday.

I walked in, took off my boots and hung up my coat. I got my workstation running, and then went to the kitchenette to see about coffee. You know, filters, grinds, get a pitcher of water from the cooler, that sort of thing.

That was about when Friday started looking a whole lot like a Monday.

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